


What Comfort Can I Be?

by loveheartlover



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-21
Updated: 2014-05-21
Packaged: 2018-01-26 00:58:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1668842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loveheartlover/pseuds/loveheartlover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Sirius were the werewolf instead of Remus? </p>
<p>Set during the marauders time at Hogwarts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Comfort Can I Be?

It's the morning of a full moon that's the worst. 

The week building up to it is bad enough. Sirius isn't always up to pulling off large scale pranks after a bad moon, so they always plan something huge that will climax the day before. It means Sirius can feign having been hurt by a wayward charm, or being knackered from having to use his brain for too long. The latter Lily came up with, and it's become a staple in their repertoire of "reasons Sirius is currently curled up in bed instead of attending classes now shut up Snape stop asking so many questions". The Hufflepuff girls have dubbed it their dose of monthly marauder, and take great delight in setting up bets with the other houses over who will be lead prankster and who will be the target.

So maybe the week before isn’t so bad after all. It’s worth the detentions for the smile on Sirius’s face when everything goes perfectly, and they don’t even _get_ detentions that often any more, not since the professors worked out the cycle. As long as nobody gets hurt, they turn a blind eye.

The days _after_ a full moon are pretty grim. Sirius is in pain, James is grumpy because he hates it when Sirius gets hurt (“sympathy pains” Lily and Remus had decided), Peter sulks because James is in a bad mood and gets snappy with him, and Remus… Well Remus tends to get the worst of it. Sirius doesn’t like people to see him after the full moon if he can help it. He’ll put up with James and Peter long enough to reassure him that he’s fine, he’ll be up again in no time, and can James please find out where they can get their hands on some new dungbombs because he has had the _best_ idea. Once they’re gone, Remus is the one who stays behind. 

It’s Remus who helps move Sirius back to his dorm without anyone spotting them. It’s Remus who dabs potions along the fresh wounds that can’t be healed with a spell, who presses kisses to the older scars that make Sirius cringe whenever he sees them in the mirror. Remus has theorised with James about that before, realised that the reason Sirius is so reckless is because some small part of him _wants_ to get hurt, wants to have an explanation for the scars that litter his body that isn’t to do with the wolf that takes control and tears his flesh apart every month. 

And it’s Remus who gets yelled at. Remus who Sirius lashes out at, who takes every sharp stab of Sirius’s tongue as he curses his life, his parents, his family, his miserable reality. Remus takes every cruel word Sirius sends his way, and more besides, because he gets it, he does. Only once Sirius is done with his tirade does Remus crawl into bed beside his friend. He’ll press chocolate into Sirius’s hand, and they’ll share sweet kisses tempered with sugar to help Sirius remember that life can be just as beautiful as it ugly. 

But the mornings of a full moon? 

Awful. 

There’s nothing to be said, nothing that can be done. Sirius will come down to breakfast resigned to his fate, eyes downcast, barely registering the praise sent his way from fellow students still gossiping about the prank the day before. He’ll go to class and pretend to pay attention even though Remus can see his mind wandering, can see flashes of the wolf slowly rising within his friend. After dinner Sirius blows off steam on the Quidditch pitch with James for an hour, until it’s time for him to go and wait below the Willow, and then the night is okay because he has his friends with him and they can play, can keep the wolf under control. 

But those early mornings, when James and Peter are showering and bickering about Transfiguration homework that they’ve both forgotten to do, Remus will lie beside Sirius with the curtains drawn around his bed and hold his hand tight and listen to his friend cry, unable to offer comfort aside from a warm body for him to cling to. 

And with every breath that Remus takes on those mornings, he wishes with all of his heart that he could spare Sirius this pain. That it was he who was the werewolf.


End file.
